I'm an idiot.

Today, I had the awesome fortune of being called a bitch and mentally retarded. I take offense to just one of those terms today.

1. I was called a bitch for a good reason, and I take responsibility for it.
2. I was called mentally retarded concerning a situation where my friend in the hospital could wake up and have extensive brain damage to the point of mental retardation.

So I suppose we need to know the situation. Right?

The car Jaleel was driving.

I was trolling Facebook to avoid working on the take-home portion of my biology final when I stumbled upon a photo of the car Jaleel was driving. However, at the time, I had been led to believe that the other boy in the car had been driving and that Jaleel was the passenger. I posted a reply with that boy's name and how the two boys were both responsible for the accident and the consequences. They both made decisions to wear or not to wear a seat belt. They both decided it was okay to let the driver speed to catch up to their friend in the car in front of them.

What I didn't know was that Jaleel had been the driver. The police report says that he was ejected from the driver's seat and that there is no way he could have been the passenger.

Anyway, after they set the record straight, I apologized to the boy and everyone who had been following the post for saying that, explaining the misunderstanding and where it had come from.

The real source of my anger lies in the fact that people were writing comments about how no one is to blame and that it was a mistake, a freak accident. It absolutely was NOT a freak accident. Both both made conscious decisions to wear and not to wear seatbelts. One did and the other didn't. The driver, Jaleel, who didn't wear a seat belt, was ejected through the front windshield and is in a coma. The passenger was wearing a seat belt and walked away from the hospital with bruises, scrapes, and a concussion. Jaleel was the driver and was responsible for both of their lives. The passenger should have insisted on Jaleel's seat belt being worn and that he should not speed. Jaleel put both their lives in danger, and now, he's paying the ultimate price for it.

A lot of these words are hypothetical. It's all circumstantial. I honestly know in my heart that no car rolls three times because they were driving the speed limit (35), even if something darts in front of your car and surprises you. You can swerve and miss it (or even hit it) and still just end up doing a donut or flip your car or in the dutch. You wouldn't be rolling 3 times.

Jaleel could be breathing on his own, recovering from a few bruises and the whopping his grandfather would have given him when he found out that Jaleel wrecked a car. He would be present at Christmas dinner, laughing with us and playing video games. He would be having a birthday party on Wednesday with his friends. He would be going fishing over the summer and hunting next fall. He'd graduate from high school and join the air force. He'd get to live out his entire life.

He may never have those opportunities now because he got behind the wheel of a car without wearing a seat belt. He drove that car recklessly and endangered his life and his friend's life.

I am so angry at Jaleel. I am so upset that this happened. I want him to survive and be alive. I want him to live so that I can scare the shit out of him when he wakes up.

Jaleel and I hugging after my wedding ceremony in June.

This was all a sober reminder to me why I make every person in my car wear a seat belt before I start the engine. This is why I choose to not drive more than 5mph over the speed limit, if that, when I'm behind the wheel.

I truly hope that you do, too.

God bless.