Where we go from here

This might be the last in the string of posts about my dear "little brother," Jaleel John-Baptiste. Since my last post, we have been to the funeral and wake, spent time with friends, and had a high school memorial and balloon release for him. Instead of writing a long post, I have included photos and video of the past week in case others were unable to attend.

After the funeral.

All of the kids came to the high school to enjoy each other
and Jaleel's music. They were smiling and chatting, writing
down memories of Jaleel on pieces of paper on the stage.
It was so nice to see them enjoying themselves.

Grabbing balloons.

My sister released a balloon for Connor and herself.

One of the girls had this shirt on. I think it's
from the last day of school when all the kids'
wore white for Jaleel.

Walking to the back courtyard to release the balloons.

They were really beautiful to watch.

A lot of people shouted out the different things that they
saw the balloons making in the sky, like a J for Jaleel.

Faintly in the mid-right you can see the two balloons that
Harry and J released for Jaleel. The first two released.

We all lingered for a while watching the balloons hover in the
sky. Before a while, we had to go inside because there were
snowball fights starting.

Cyndi commented that she couldn't look up too
much because it hurt her Asian eyes. The sky
was a very bright blue and the weather was good.

The kids all Tebow'd for Jaleel.

David made a cross for Jaleel to put at the high school. They
will leave it up until they can make a stone of something nice
to sit there as a reminder for the students to live life in honor
of Jaleel and his outstanding memory.

I hope you enjoyed these images. There are more on Jaleel's page. It has been a trying holiday for us this year, and we are, I think, getting back to the happiness and joy of the season. This year more than most, we have been seeing the real spirit of Christmas in each other. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful. The prayers and thoughts were abundant. We have been together almost every day since the beginning of December, and it has really warmed my heart. We have all become very close and made unbelievably kind, new friends.

Without everyone's consistent support, we may not have been able to come out of this with such strong and fond memories. I have been blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I have a husband who loves me and supports me. I have a family who laughs and jokes with me. I have friends who are amazing, even after time catches up with us.

I guess the three most important messages of the season are to wear a seat belt, become a donor, and to have a blessed and Merry Christmas.

Thinking about babies...

I have noticed a trend in my life... concerning television and babies. I know! I know... It's a strange topic for a barely 24 year old woman who just got married. I suppose I should explain the television part before you get confused!

I watch a variety of shows when I have time. Thank, God, for DVR, right? (I do every day). Here's a list of shows I have seen recently that featured a story line related to having, raising and protecting children:

• Grey's Anatomy
• Private Practice
• Giuliana & Bill
• The Little Couple
• The Millionaire Matchmaker
• House
• Up All Night
• Harry's Law
• The Secret Circle
• Hoarders

The list is much longer, but this is about all I can remember at the moment. It's a lot all at once. Couple this will the number of friends I have who have or will be having children. It makes me want to start my own family while I'm young!

Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Giuliana & Bill all have shown scenes where a woman has waited too long to try to conceive and/or they are incapable of having children because of fertility. While the trend for my generation is to get married later and have children even later than that, I feel that this is the reason why we hear so many stories about infertility. Many women wait way past their ripe child-bearing years to even begin to think about children.

To be perfectly honest, I never thought I'd ever have children. The thought repulsed me in some ways. I think a lot of this had to do with the people I dated and spent time with. I never felt like having a baby would be a secure or logical thing to proceed to with those people. I had one serious boyfriend that hated the thought of children. Because I loved him so much and wasn't too attached to the idea, I abandoned it and told myself that children would never happen for me. It just wasn't in my life plan. 

Now that I have moved on from that man and found my wonderful husband, all I do is think about making a family with him. I so enjoy his company and our time to be a couple. I can't help but want to see the little faces we'll have greeting us every day. Everyone says that marriage is that last step...

It's not.

Marriage is almost like the first step. After that first step, we have to constantly work at respecting each other and treating one another as if it were the very last moments we were going to have together. We're grown a lot together since we moved in together and more still since we've been married. The next step is to have children. It starts with just one (or more if we're lucky). It's a lifetime commitment to share our lives with a new person that we're able to bring into the world.

I want to take the step before there are complications with age or infertility. I want to get myself healthy and strong so that I can give myself a better chance of a good pregnancy.

I think, maybe sometime in my future, I'll be having a baby. It's not today and definitely not in 9 months. I cannot wait until the moment comes, though.

Kim Kardashian's Marriage a Sham? Or a human mistake?

I, like many others, have been long time Kardashian fans since the beginning of their show on E!, Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Since then, they have sprouted several shows and appearances, seeing huge career boosts... every person in the family included. All this from one starter season and the success of their clothing stores.

While the the Kardashians are known for getting into trouble with each other and causing one another heartache over virtually nothing, I have always thought that they reminded me of a regular family. The money plays a part, but in essense, they are like any other American family struggling to raise teenagers, to be better people. They each suffer low self-esteem, pressures from each other and the world, body issues, peer pressure... You name it! For this, I have been really thankful. It makes me feel sane sometimes to see people without the mundane worries about paying rent and getting an hourly wage have the same problems that I have personally and socially.

Recently, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries married with a lavish ceremony, the experience taped for viewers. What Kim and Kris went through doesn't surprise me. My husband and I had similar arguments and problems planning our own wedding. We also didn't have the media attention that Kim and Kris do.

The one thing my husband and I had over Kim and Kris is time spent building a firm foundation for our relationship. We still work through day-to-day problems that arise, but we work hard at making each other feel good about ourselves personally and together. While Kris seems like a fairly grounded and mature man, he acted quite immaturely at times with Kim concerning the wedding. I saw warning signs in the show when the family went on their trip to Tahiti. The producers of the show ultimately decide how people are spun. They can make them each look mean or innocent based on cuts and background music. They can stage events if they need to and re-shoot them. I think Kim and Kris were pretty accurately portrayed, though. You can't change your personality and reactions, especially when we know Kim and Kris aren't seasoned, award-winning actors.

At first, I was a little upset for no real reason because they entered in a huge production of a wedding to join together their families and then file divorce after 70 odd days "together." This means there was little to no commitment to the marriage. If you marry someone and divorce them after less than a year, it's obvious you didn't spend much time really getting to know and appreciate each other. In reality, they may have spent the better part of a year dating and being engaged, but they hadn't spent real time together. They probably saw each other for a few hours to a few days separated by a week or so. When I dated my husband, we saw each other or talked every single day. When we were studying abroad, we video chatted and spoke on the phone several times a day. We made every effort to be committed and honest with each other from the very beginning. I think this is what makes us appreciate each other so much: honesty and trust.

None of us were there. None of us knew the relationship they had, even if it WAS portrayed on TV. I think that although Kim and Kris are done, they are a reflection of our society. They really do portray how we view marriage and commitment. JLo has been marrying and divorcing in short spurts for years and no one has ever blamed her for killing the sanctity of marriage. I think people should lay off Kim and Kris. While statements say that Kris had no idea about the divorce, we can never really know. There are things that happen in private between two people in a relationship that no one sees or knows about.

I think it's time for the world to really evaluate their own relationships. Don't blame someone else for cheapening marriage when we all contribute in a way. We tell our friends to just leave him because it has been too long. We don't support them in the fight for their marriage. We encourage people to be happy for themselves without encouraging them to fight for the happiness in their marriage. I'm not saying that "irreconcilable differences" don't exist. I'm simply saying that we all really encourage an individual's happiness over the happiness of the other person involved. It's a relationship, not a business agreement.